What is the last thing you learned?
When you’ve always been the kind of person who isn’t needed that much as being the needy one. Time and circumstances bring you to a point when you must learn to give more.
The last thing I learned is caregiving. Caregiving is something that teaches you to forget your selfish concerns for a while and focus on the person you love who needs you to be there. It brings out so many emotions in you and also tests your patience. There are days when you maybe smiling through it all and carrying the burden with an open heart and then again it can make you feel trapped and frustrated. Those are the times when you end up hurting the one you are really meant to nurture.
Many a times you may forget yourself when caring for another. So it’s important to carve out even a little time to do some work or do something that makes you happy.
What I learnt most while caregiving is that I realize within me there is abundant love to give to someone and not in the form of hugs and kisses but by helping them feel comfortable and secure. I feel I want to care more in each day that I pick up a plate, help them eat, cook something they like, exercise with them. It becomes important for me each day to care fully and with my whole heart.
There are some days or moments in the day that I become irritable and cranky myself for want of my own space and time. Learning to curb those irritable hours is what I’m still learning to do. I’m also learning to be consistent in my patience and showing steady care.
The night is when I feel I won’t be able to go on another day but an early morning is beautiful although I’m not a morning person but have learnt to be. Sunrise makes you feel alive and fresh again to go through your own routine and help another with theirs too.
It’s been two years that I’ve had to constantly give of myself and just now I have had some help and support again that I had at the start. I am grateful for those helping hands because the load is heavier but my role of caregiving keeps getting deeper everyday.
Caregiving often reminds me of the beautiful book Never Let Me Go, Ishiguro’s sixth novel, which takes place in England during the 1990s and follows students’ lives at an elite boarding school. The story explores themes of friendship, memories, and what it means to be human, gradually revealing deeper mysteries about the nature of their world.
The book brings out the stark reality of the cycle of life and how each of us takes turn to render care.
What I know is add some light into it let them play a song, watch a movie, talk of old times, throw a tantrum. Try to make them smile even when you can’t
I am mostly one to
Guard my own interests
Be happy when I want to be
But time told me to take a step back
Lend a hand
Comfort a heart
In time I learnt
That I smile when they smile
My life suddenly has more meaning
Because I’m no more living for myself
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