I am not done changing
Out on the run, changing
I may be old and I may be young
But I am not done changing
The lyrics of this John Mayer song has been my theme this year. Let me go back in time a little pre pandemic. I have had my share of ups and downs in my teaching career and after a long gap teaching at home with a few classes and home tuitions, I landed a job in a school again. It was a great feeling to be back in a classroom full of students especially when I thought I would never get back to full time teaching. In the four years I taught there I found in me a spark that I had long lost somewhere down the line. I learnt new things about myself and that I could be capable for much more. Getting to know the students was exceptionally challenging and joyful at the same time. I thrived and work was the focus of my life. I only wanted to do better and work harder. They were the best teaching years of my life.
Then the pandemic hit. On the last day before school closed for the lockdown, I had been a part of a major production to be held at the Annual Day. The entire school had come together to participate for it and everyone had bonded beautifully on it. Our spirits were low as the show had to be cancelled. In my heart I knew that I would not return to school for it had taken me so long to get back to a normal school environment and I may not be able to achieve it again.
Things constantly change and with school and classes online it brought in me a new vigor to learn and grow. I did not take things lightly and gave my lessons all I had trying to keep a connect with the students. Everyone has a breaking point and just as school was to resume in session, I finally had my break down. I think we were all allowed at least one during the pandemic.
My organization was kind to me and after several attempts this year of getting back to school, I just could not see myself teaching anymore. I had faced a severe burnout and was completely derailed from my goals. Having taught for 18 years of my life, I have taken great pride in being a teacher and the students have been my purpose, my world. I truly miss it.
Like everybody here I have met challenges and have never stayed completely steady. Change has always been there to compel me to take new paths and find different destinations. Change came in a big way during the pandemic and although I was safe from it my life still turned upside down towards the end of it.
A step back does not always mean everything is lost. I have gained so much in the free time that I have had. Let me give you my five ways of beating the blues of any kind if you are feeling abandoned and aimless: –
Find a hobby
It is essential to have a hobby in your life. Something that you love and that brings out the inner joy in you. My hobbies are many including reading, drawing, gardening, listening to music, needlework. A hobby lets you focus on the task at hand and shuts out all the worries and troubles you may have. You find a little bit of yourself in it.
Keep a journal
A journal no matter what you choose to write helps give you direction and put down your thoughts on paper. My journal has often led me to achieving goals that somehow once seemed impossible.
Find a fitness regime that suits you and stick to it. Feeling fit keeps you positive, stay moving and active. Walking helps me release any pent-up energy and towards the end of the walk I feel brand new.
If you are not sure which direction to take brainstorm ideas with a friend or sibling. It may not give you a solution instantly but you might find something to do to stay occupied and that you may grow to love.
It is okay to take a step back
The world is constantly turning and for most of us it is one big race but it is okay if you need to slow down and take a step back. It gives you a chance to appreciate life more and maybe in the time you give yourself you will find what you are looking for. Trust that wherever you are you are meant to be there and your path will slowly but surely start to light up and give your life more meaning.
In the numerous times that my life has come to a standstill and I have found myself falter not once did I not find the strength in me to get back again. So don’t give up heart if you’re facing a hard time, you’ll find your way again. This time around I am at peace with my situation unlike other times and hope to discover new facets about me. I have all the time in the world and I wish you get on this journey with me and be a part of my humble blog. A blog means so much these days but for me it will always be just an extension of a diary the ones I always love to keep. Find me here in my diary- my blog ‘Faith’.