Don’t Angry Me!

“Don’t angry me!”” A famous dialogue from a popular Bollywood movie and how we sometimes feel when we are triggered to explode in many different ways. 

For someone unusually calm at most times I’ve even felt anger strongly. I need that one little trigger to bring to the surface emotions dwelling deep within. I often regret it though because although an act of anger can be quick it can be also quite unnecessary. 

There are things I often remind myself to do before feeling deep anger and resentment. Here are some of my anger management tools:-

Count to ten

While this may seem the simplest it is one that you can resort to the most. The first thing when you feel angry is not think about the subject of your anger but calm that fury in your mind. A slight pause would make a big difference.

Write it down

So after you’ve counted down to ten what works for me the most is writing it down. All that is harsh and negative bring it on to paper and watch it evaporate. Also it can help you see why you are so angry and hence look at more possible solutions to the matter.

Be forthright 

After assessing the situation and when you are in a calmer frame of mind yes what I like to do is speak my heart out to that person. Let them know what they said or did angered you and why you need to see their point of view. Never do so on a chat message. I’ve done that so often it’s only made things worse. Call that person and have a heart to heart.

Remember relationships matter more 

There’s a lovely John Mayer lyric Hurt me once, I let it be. Hurt me twice, you’re dead to me. Three times makes you family. It really is true that the ones that are going to hurt you the most are family. So remember that relationships matter more than an outburst of emotion for you will always need them by your side. So think before losing someone you love. You can always talk it out.

Things take time

Anger won’t disappear you will almost always carry it on your heart. But by talking to that person over time wounds may heal and you will find you cherish them just as before. No doubt you maybe going through a series of rough patches but peace will surely reign.

Don’t retaliate 

When you find a person unreasonably targeting you don’t retaliate. Stop to see their side of things. Breathe for it will save you from a lot more. Bring out the softest side of you when you feel that things are cruel.

Remember your rules 

Remember your rules when you feel a trigger. Tell yourself to be restrained and walk away till you can deal with it in a more calm manner. 

Find some time to doodle

Take out that favorite purple pen of yours and doodle in your art journal. It will take all your anger away and fill it with rainbows and unicorns.

Anger is a virtue you’d rather not have but if you are prone to it. Give yourself some anger management tools and pray that you abide by them. Wish you all the luck you may need or just say, “Don’t angry me!”