Wasted Time?

Do you need time?

Years seem to slip by and although working from home lets me shape my day from doing nothing to being productive. Time is still something I want more of. There are days when time has not been valued and I begin working by night grasping on to the last few hours.

You would think time would have no value for a person always wishing for life to come to an end but isn’t it ironic when that same girl is asking for an extra day, another hour, a few more minutes when she finds something that excites her, brings her joy and finds motivation.

Time is essential not only to fulfill all your dreams and ambitions but to savour those moments and cherish more of them. The ones that let you read a book on a rainy day, or walk on grass, write in your diary, break into a dance to a song, hold someone you love.

For me time is most important because ever since a young girl I’ve wanted to be married, have a family and happy home. I’m afraid time is running out for me in that respect. Clearly because I won’t go into the dating game. It’s rather nasty. I’m pretty much like Rapunzel stuck in her tower waiting for her prince to rescue her.

Then there is time for which you can learn something new. As you grow older I feel things are harder to grasp I’m not sure. I’d love to learn the guitar but I never get around to it. I need more time.

There’s not much of the world I’ve seen, places that are just pictures to be explored. How lovely time would be spent in a café or museum in Paris, somewhere in the hills in India or Japan which is first on my bucket list. I don’t really have a bucket list. I feel people and places come to you naturally when it’s the right time.

Time is a good teacher too. I know time has brought in more maturity in me, made me responsible and accountable for the things that mattered, I am more needed as opposed to the needy one and time has taught me and given me the greatest gift of patience to accept that life will unfold exactly the way it is meant to be.

Time to me is something that you can’t fight. Sometimes it’s well lived like an afternoon tea time on your balcony, sometimes it’s productive for when you check all your to dos, sometimes on days you want no more of it and sometimes it’s just wasted time. Every minute is somehow taking you somewhere, leading you somewhere.

Time I’ve often never wanted it

I felt tortured by it

My dreams crushed

Love unrequited

I could never be steady

And the world seemed to race around me

I wanted to slow down

End time

But fate had something else in store

Time taught me to find

The beauty in ordinary things

Made me take a step back

Can you do that?

Oh! Yes you can

Step back and I found

The things I love